Who you gonna call?

Let me start by saying I am not a morning person. Morning people don't get it; they think we night owls just need to practice some discipline. Truth is our clocks simply run on a different schedule and it's not a matter of reprogramming...I've tried it. Ain't happening. End of discussion. So all you morning people can move on, you are not needed here. Only night owls will comprehend the insult that follows.

When my phone rang at 6:30 this morning, pissed doesn't even come close to covering it. Most people are (or can be if necessary) completely functional by that time but it might as well have been 3:30 am in my book. I know my nocturnal brethren are nodding in understanding. They know my pain. (Now I know some of you early birds kept reading and are now rolling your eyes. Consider yourselves scorned. It's not like I didn't warn you.)

I've also been battling a cold for 2 weeks I was way off in la la land thanks to my good friend Nyquil. That circumstance proved very fortunate for the caller in question. I simply harrumphed and smacked the reject button on my cell phone with great indignity. I knew it was a wrong number because as the great Bruno Kirby (RIP) said "No one I know would call this early in the morning." [Bonus points for naming the movie.]

So in my groggy, antihistamine-induced fog I rationalized that they would go to voice mail, realize their mistake and the matter would be settled. Nope. They called back. And with no hesitation I might add...like say, just maybe, to double-check the number.

Not wanting to get into a vicious cycle of rejecting calls until they got the message, I opted for answering the next one. Plus, let's face it, I was awake by this time. With disdain dripping from my voice I answered with a simple "Hello." Not to be confused with what almost came out which was "Oh, hell no." I'm quite impressed with the amount of restraint I mustered at that unseemly hour.

The errant caller sounded appropriately surprised and remorseful. I have to at least give the her credit for acknowledging her mistake and apologizing before I hung up without another word. Okay, maybe I grunted. Had she been one of those pissy wrong number callers...you know, the one who huffs at you for having the audacity to not be the person they were calling...well let's just say restraint would have been non-existent.