Politeness Chicken - the "other" PC

Some months back, my dear hubby gave me quite a chuckle (and subsequent blog material; he's handy that way). It was a spectacular Saturday morning in early fall and we decided to explore some new hiking ground. On our way out we arrived at an all-way stop in our neighborhood at the same time as 2 other vehicles. As we all know in this scenario, sometimes there's a lot of staring at the other drivers, everyone trying to decide who got there first and thus, who is entitled to go on his or her merry way first.

So we all stared at each other, eyes darting from car to car like a bizarre 3-way tennis match, no one willing to be the one to go for it. The staring and eye-darting continued for what seemed like minutes until even I was annoyed...and I'm the patient one. It's at this point that Hubby proposed the Politeness Chicken theory: who would be the one to hit the gas? That's when he got the "I lose!" look in his eye and proceeded through the intersection...first. *sigh*

The reality is that this is our neighborhood and there's a high probability of seeing these people again. Who really wants to be the one at the pool this summer, the subject of raised-noses and sideways glances? The Stop-Sign Hog, tsk tsk! (Not that we couldn't have a lot of fun with that but we must consider the children.) So there goes the pool this summer, but at least we got to hike before the day was half gone.

The whole event got me thinking though... (You may want to brace yourself, this segue way might hurt a bit.) The politeness chicken theory has so many varied and practical applications! Everything from door-holding to the last gloriously oil-soaked garlic roll in the bottom of the basket. A rating system is definitely in order. So I propose the PC Score or PCS.

I think it should go something like this:

1. The Enabler: Also known as the sucker, i.e. lets so many cars pull in front of them that they totally screw the people stuck behind them.
2. The Wimp: This one wants to be more assertive but ends up deferring anyway, i.e. they really want the last muffin at the morning meeting but still asks if anyone wants it, secretly hoping nobody will, and then gets snubbed by the oinker who figures they might as well have one more.
3. The Fair-meister: Not too selfish, not too giving....juuuust right, i.e. not afraid to take the last roll but will happily split it with any other takers.
4. The Stickler: Doesn't play the "By all means, after you" game, i.e. will agreeably allow you in front of them in line if you arrive at the same time but be sure not to waver, if you return the offer, they'll take you up on it.
5. The Nimrod: you hope they step in gum sometime today, i.e. first person to jump into the cashiers newly opened line even though they're the last one in the old line, they've barely been waiting a nanosecond, and there's 10 people in front of them. They proceed to argue with the cashier about their coupons for another store that expired a year ago and insist upon speaking with the manager. And then they proceed to pay with a check.

So there you go, the PCS rating system. Might need some tweaking yet but his could be a new national phenomenon. Everyone will be commiserating with their friends who fall victims to social slights, "Oh man, that was soooo 5. Da-yam!" Or alternatively, "Man, that was cool. Totally 3."

So what do you think your PCS is? If you're 1-2, grow some ca hones for cryin' out loud. If you fall in the 3-4 range you've found a good balance and you can be my new friend. If you are a 5, you'll be banished to Jerktopia where you can cause no further harm to society.

But think of the possibilities of the PCS. I can see the ad campaign now: "Politeness Chicken, it's not just for 4-way stops anymore!"; "What's your PCS?"; maybe we could even knock the dust off of Eric Estrada's career for the new game show sensation "P! C! S!" [APPLAUSE] You nominate your friends who are followed by hidden cameras. Then embarrassing footage is aired on national TV at which point they are assigned their official PCS. The board game and t-shirts are just the tip of the merchandising iceberg! Someone call CBS, I'm a genius!!!

"What's that you say?" Uh huh. "Yes, the sky IS purple in my world. How did you know?"